Doubtful Security Blanket

What does it mean to be insecure? What is insecurity?

Wikipedia.com believes insecurity “is a feeling of unease that can be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable in some way.”

Well, I doubt my ‘so-called’ security blanket would agree with that.

Psychology even did a study on how people who are insecure sabotage their own relationships.

I believe insecurity is feeling unsafe and/or when you actually open up yourself to someone the vulnerability shows.

I hate writing about how others feel so I will keep the ‘us’, ‘we’, ‘our’ to a minimal.

For me, my insecurity, even if it is hidden deep within me, affects the way I am, the way I appear to others everyday.

Insecurity has to be worked on. It doesn’t go away overnight. And yet, I pretend all the time around other people to try not show any vulnerability.

My fears bound me timeously! I fear that my present happiness is temporary and it will ‘let me down’ and give me unwelcomed heartache.

I hate bringing up the past, but my past made me who I am today. My insecurity’s roots are planted in my past. The feeling of being inadequate, I am not ‘good enough’ is my insecurity.

Most people would say ‘But you are loud, and full of confidence’, well, that is my somewhat defence mechanism. I’m just trying to keep my inner hurt from being discovered.

This is the motto I’ve been walking around for most of my life: “if people don’t see the real me, they can’t hurt the real me”

All I need is reassurance and my security blanket.

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