From The Top To Bottom – Pleasure Me
Most of you have been asked this question most of life: are you a top or bottom? The next writings are summarized to my understanding. Some people think in order to be a bottom, you must be the effeminate partner.
Well, most of you know that I like ’em skinny jeans and somewhat fitted clothes. So does that make me effeminate and does that determine my sexual preference?
That isn’t always the case. A persons preference for topping and bottoming is most often determined by which they get more pleasure from, not how they act outside the bedroom. I don’t like the labels top-bottom and I know others prefer a more loose interpretation of their sexual roles.
So just know, being top don’t make you the man in the relationship and so it goes if you are bottom it don’t make you the ‘girl’.
And I believe that a “man/woman” style of gayness is sexist and it don’t belong in a gay relationship because we are not straight.
Kenji Milano 
Gay men has taken on these roles themselves. How do you automatically take on the female role when you have effeminate tenancies forgetting you’re a man and you can use your penis for pleasure. How do you automatically assume you’re the “Man” in the relationship when you penetrate another man? people make sense of Masculinity the wrong way. Gay men often label themselves, restrict themselves, stereotype themselves that’s why society always ask “Who’s the man and who’s the woman” in a gay relationship. What about those who doesn’t engage in penetrative sex at all? What does that make them? Apart from gender roles and stereotypes, young gay men needs to educate themselves as human beings holistically instead of boxing themselves just because ‘this is the way to be gay” Pull yourself towards your self, your sexual orientation is just a fraction of who you are.
Well said, Javin.