Myself Acquitted

If this is not true than I don’t want to feel anything.

I’m capable of feeling an amount of pain, but feeling this is too extreme. I’m tainted. I’m lost. I’m nothing.

Having options to my disposal is always good, but I feel as if I acquitted myself into believing that you really are there for me.

I know that I’ve lost myself when I gave you my heart. I’ve lost the game of life as I invested too much time from my part.

Why does it have to be like this?

You claim to feel and I don’t believe yet I don’t feel and you claim to believe.

Why does it have to be like this?

The strokes of my fingers against the keyboard equals to the amount of tears I’ve shed to be yours. I surrender my insecurity to you on a platter, I surrender myself because I told myself I would get better.
I believed things will change. I believed that I am strong. I confess today, that everything is wrong.

I gave up.

I find myself acquitted.

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