I think many gays see anal sex as the ‘pinnacle’ or the ‘last end’ in terms of expressing love in a relationship. The view that it might resonate with gay men with the same emotional significance that vaginal sex resonates with heterosexuals, has been considered.
Being gay is ALL about anal sex or is it?
Sex in whole does not just consist of anal sex, but oral, mutual masturbation is considered sex too; or am I wrong? This is actually surprisingly common in the gay community, but it’s practically the ultimate taboo. Even our language of how we
describe ourselves (top/ versatile/ bottom) reflects the focus on anal sex and the person’s position during this act.
Sex is what you make of it. That is what I believe.
This concept might seem strange for some gays, but for straight people and even the young gays coming to terms with their sexuality, think that life as a gay guy has endless ass pounding.
The puzzlement I’ve encountered when trying to explain that there’s more to gay life than ass play when talking to people who aren’t gay men.
Think about this, there are gays who just don’t like anal sex.
Historically, anal sex has been commonly associated with male homosexuality. However, many gay men and men who have sex with men in general (those who identify as gay, bisexual, heterosexual or have not identified their sexual identity) do
not engage in anal sex. Among men who have anal sex with other men, the insertive partner may be referred to as the top and the one being penetrated may be referred to as the bottom. Those who enjoy either role may be referred to as versatile.
There might be many factors that could be at play. Sexual abuse history. Cultural. The list goes on. But there are alternatives to anal: as mentioned – oral, mutual masturbation, etc.
Some men who have sex with men, however, believe that being a receptive partner during anal sex questions their masculinity.
JUST because you’re gay does not mean you have to like the idea of anal sex, so try the alternatives.
Reports with regard to the popularity of anal sex among gay men in the modern days have varied over time. Magnus Hirschfeld, in his 1914 work, The Homosexuality of Men and Women, reported the rate of anal sex among gay men surveyed to be 8%, the least favoured of all the practices documented. By the 1950s in the United Kingdom, it was said that about 15% of gay males had anal sex.
Sex isn’t even all about penetration, lesbians don’t have penetrative sex, so you can still have an active and fulfilling sex life without doing anal. Some of you reading this might think this is weird, but it all boils down to preference.
Similar to the Hirschfeld study, researchers state that oral sex and mutual masturbation are more common than anal stimulation among gay men in long-term relationships. They say that anal intercourse is generally more popular among gay male couples than among heterosexual couples, but that “it ranks behind oral sex and mutual masturbation” among both sexual orientations in popularity.
The gay and anal sex stereotype has been around forever and it’s time to educate.
Article published in The Pink Tongue, March 2015