Monthly Archives: August 2015

If you saw a black/coloured or black/white couple in public or at the club or any where what would you think?

I have asked a lot of homosexuals if they support gay interracial couples and most of them said “yes but, wouldn‟t date a black guy because of the negative stereotypes that are held against them”.

For me it‟s just racist in some way. I know we all have preferences but just because dating a guy based on skin colour makes me confused.

It‟s seldom that you see a happy gay interracial couple without the judgment of “he is just there because of the money” etc. which in some cases are NOT true.

I know of only a few interracial couples and from what I see they are happy despite what the „world‟ has to say.

In today‟s society, being gay is frowned upon already, and yet there‟s prejudice within the small gay community (I hate that phrase). So why don‟t we support each other?

The gay world is no different from the straight world in certain regards.

By dating based solely on something as illogical as race, I think we shoot ourselves in the foot.

Researchers have found that interracial couples report lower levels of relationship support from their social networks (family, friends) than same-race couples. Similarly, same-sex couples report lower levels of relationship support than heterosexual couples.

Being South African, a lot will say something about “cultural” differences. Is that the only reason? Or are you just narrow-minded?

Nonetheless, homosexual interracial/ inter-cultural relationships will always be prejudiced unless we change the race games that has been played for years.

What‟s the point of writing this article if I only include what I want to say? My response is: I won‟t go into detail on some racial remarks because I‟m not racist. And for narrow-minded comments made when I asked advice on this touchy issue, I would rather restraint myself for some outbursts.

I was told „reviewing something said doesn‟t make you the people who said it‟. So let me be frank, there isn’t exposure of what is actually said but rather a coat of what is being said. I understand maybe certain comments might hurt you that you wouldn’t want to relive again.

So if you are in an interracial/ inter-cultural relationship, good for you; but don‟t let any negative remarks drain what you feel is right.

Article published in June 2015, The Pink Tongue edition


Dating HIV positively Article by Kenji Garnett

In this day and age, with HIV being so common in the gay community, with the stigma that

HIV carries, dating HIV positively might be a burden.

But talking about it while dating can still be taboo and difficult.

Being close to someone with this disease, I can see the struggle when it comes to dating and

it’s heart sore …

Apart from the risks of transmission, dating HIV positively has its negatives. Is it wise to disclose

your status before intimacy? There are a few issues that the twosome should consider:

keeping the uninfected person HIV negative, managing probable power dynamics, and the

sensitive impact of the serious illness.

However, in the awe-inspiring majority of situations, power dynamics develop unintentionally.

There is no way for people to be 100% certain that s/he is protected from HIV infection or any

other sexually transmitted infection.

Dating someone who has a different status can help create a foundation of trust and


HIV stigma not only have emotional impact for those carrying the virus as a result society is

easy to put a label on everything. For a person living with HIV, they always fear rejection. The

deadly prejudice that society infuse with ease, can be heart sore for a HIV negative and

positive couple.

HIV can confuse relationships in many ways. Not only is HIV vastly slurred, but it can also be

challenging to manage. On the other hand, under the close management of a good

doctor, you and your partner can be safely sexually active.

If you decide to date someone outside your status; understanding their status, accepting

their status and overcoming stigma is what is needed.

Your inclination to converse about these issues will serve you well in building and maintaining

a healthy relationship with your HIV-positive [negative] partner.

Disclosure is part of letting the person you’re dating get to know the real you, and getting to

know the real person inside him. Whomever you decide to date, and for whatsoever reasons,

always remember that a person who is worthy of you will accept you for what you are and

be willing to grow with you. Dating is not easy, I know, but it is supposed to be fun and

exciting above all. Safeguard yourself throughout the process and safeguard your heart.

Also, protect yourself and your partner … by living boldly. Stop the stigma. Live your life. As

long as you’re honest with yourself and safe with each other, one thing you won’t be

gambling with is your health.

Therefore, are you able to date HIV positively?

Article published in June 2015, The Pink Tongue edition