Dating HIV positively

Dating HIV positively Article by Kenji Garnett

In this day and age, with HIV being so common in the gay community, with the stigma that

HIV carries, dating HIV positively might be a burden.

But talking about it while dating can still be taboo and difficult.

Being close to someone with this disease, I can see the struggle when it comes to dating and

it’s heart sore …

Apart from the risks of transmission, dating HIV positively has its negatives. Is it wise to disclose

your status before intimacy? There are a few issues that the twosome should consider:

keeping the uninfected person HIV negative, managing probable power dynamics, and the

sensitive impact of the serious illness.

However, in the awe-inspiring majority of situations, power dynamics develop unintentionally.

There is no way for people to be 100% certain that s/he is protected from HIV infection or any

other sexually transmitted infection.

Dating someone who has a different status can help create a foundation of trust and


HIV stigma not only have emotional impact for those carrying the virus as a result society is

easy to put a label on everything. For a person living with HIV, they always fear rejection. The

deadly prejudice that society infuse with ease, can be heart sore for a HIV negative and

positive couple.

HIV can confuse relationships in many ways. Not only is HIV vastly slurred, but it can also be

challenging to manage. On the other hand, under the close management of a good

doctor, you and your partner can be safely sexually active.

If you decide to date someone outside your status; understanding their status, accepting

their status and overcoming stigma is what is needed.

Your inclination to converse about these issues will serve you well in building and maintaining

a healthy relationship with your HIV-positive [negative] partner.

Disclosure is part of letting the person you’re dating get to know the real you, and getting to

know the real person inside him. Whomever you decide to date, and for whatsoever reasons,

always remember that a person who is worthy of you will accept you for what you are and

be willing to grow with you. Dating is not easy, I know, but it is supposed to be fun and

exciting above all. Safeguard yourself throughout the process and safeguard your heart.

Also, protect yourself and your partner … by living boldly. Stop the stigma. Live your life. As

long as you’re honest with yourself and safe with each other, one thing you won’t be

gambling with is your health.

Therefore, are you able to date HIV positively?

Article published in June 2015, The Pink Tongue edition


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